The Hosta Chronicles

Mmmmmballs

2011-12-13T22:21:00.001-05:00

12/13/11
At work.
Why yes, it is a cup of bubblegumballs.

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Today (in photo form)

2011-12-09T22:33:00.001-05:00

12/9/2011

Kitteh in a sink.

Bizarre icicle.

Holiday party shoe shopping.

Kitteh in an armoire.

Holiday party hair trial.

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Baa-Baa

2011-11-19T22:57:00.001-05:00

11/19/2011
The Musical Box performing
The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway
Keswick Theatre

Incredible. Wish I'd been old enough to see the original production in '74.

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Cat Intro - The Mini

2011-11-16T20:07:00.001-05:00

11/16/2011
Meet the latest addition to our feline arsenal - Dusty.

(this is a rare moment of her at rest)

She also goes by Mini-Frowf, Dustalicious, Little Pretty, and The Petite Prowf.

She's enjoying chasing her big sister (Madamoiselle, the Maxi-Frowf) around and keeping her on her toes.

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The eye has it

2011-11-10T23:29:00.001-05:00

11/10/2011
I know, I suck at the RA-RA-WRITE-MOR activity. Oh well. I'll try harder from here on out.

Anyway

This is my eye.

With makeup on it.

I recently caught sight of myself in my new fangled forward-facing iPhone camera, and I was horrified. Washed out doesn't even begin to describe me. I realized that i have absolutely no natural definition around my eyes. How did I reach 41 without seeing this?

So I got a wild hair up my ass to do something about it. First, watch some YouTube tutorials on how to actually apply eye makeup; then practice. Dude, it's not easy. I stabbed myself in the eye numerous times and rubbed my eyelids raw with the constant removal process. Ouch.

On my first attempt - at something called 'how to make green eyes pop', I gave myself what looked like a black eye. On the next try, something in a moderate case of pinkeye.

In frustration I decided to stick to neutrals for the time being, and what you see above is called 'how to *something something* hooded eyes' - because along with the no definition thing, I have barely any visible eyelids.

I know it probably hardly looks like there's anything there, but that one eye took me almost 15 minutes to complete.

How do you regular makeup wearers do it every day?

PS - I do realize that I'm about 25 years late to the play with makeup party. So I'm a late bloomer.

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My new toy

2011-11-03T18:43:00.001-04:00

11/3/2011
iPhone 4s
Woot!

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Christmas Ball Kittehs

2011-11-02T22:30:00.001-04:00

11/2/2011
Petco at the registers

These tags on the catnip and cat grass plants crack me up. Stoner kittehs. Hey, pssst, you holdin', William holdin'?

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NAM-BLA-POW-WOW

2011-11-01T16:03:00.001-04:00

11/1/2011
Yellow Springs Farm
Last pickup for the 2011 Goat Cheese CSA

GOATS!

I joined a cheese CSA this year, because cheese is a primary food group for me and the idea of supporting a local business was appealing. It was awesome. I enjoyed picking up my share at the farm every two weeks, chatting with the owners and seeing what the resident critters were up to.

Every time I would pull into the farm's driveway, whichever goats were out in the pen would be all crazy-go-nuts with the baaaaaa-ing. They'd see me (and probably everyone else picking up, but let's just pretend that they like me best, ok?) and come running over like the fish and geese at a public pond. However, I never had a fistful of mashed up crackers to offer them. (something tells me that the goat owners/cheesemakers really don't want their cheeses having a Saltine quality to them) If you look close in the picture below, the fence post toward the upper left corner has a platform on it, upon which is a black and white kitteh just unlaxing. Kitteh!

Today was no exception, and these two lovely (handsome? I have no idea if they are boys or girls - the farm has both) goats came over to say hello. I'm not sure if other visitors feed them or if they are just really social, but they are not shy at all about getting all up in your face when you stand at the fence. I had to back up a bit to get the picture below because this one started climbing the fence to either give me a kiss, or eat my phone. I did not realize that they could climb fences. Goats are 4 wheel drive. Learn something new every day, I suppose.

Anyway. Goats are neat. Cheese CSA's are pretty cool. You should see if one is available to you in your area. I would try a vegetable CSA, but my picky eating habits coupled with my fear of getting boxes full of rhubarb, yams and turnips week after week keeps me from joining one. And no, I'm not going to try them and see if maybe I like them, Mom.

RE: The title of today's post -

There is some sort of bloggy-thing that happens in November where bloggers are supposed to post every day for the WHOLE MONTH. I see it referenced in a lot of the blogs I read (where the authors don't merely stick up a picture every few days, or weeks - heh), and thought that since I've done such a tremendous job with my iPhone photo-a-day project, that I would maybe stick a toe into the NOV-BLOG-PO-PO (or whatever the fussy not-quite-an-acronym moniker of the forced writing activity is) waters and see how I do. I make no promises regarding the content of each day's scribbles - could be meat, could be cake. We'll see where the spirit takes me, it should be an interesting ride. They always are.

SNF Eagles vs. Cowgirls

2011-10-31T00:19:00.001-04:00

10/30/2011
Chainsaw Art
Lincoln Financial Field

Woot! Eagles 34-7!

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Snowtober!

2011-10-29T11:23:00.002-04:00

10/29/2011
First snowfall of the season.
Woot! Snow!

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Da' Birds

2011-10-26T09:07:00.001-04:00

10/26/2011
SNF Eagles vs. Cowboys
Bring it!

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Her Name is Rio

2011-10-18T09:59:00.001-04:00

10/17/2011
Duran Duran
Tower Theater

CrabbyC was my date, just as she was in 1984 when she took me and my 2 junior high besties to see (read: scream and cry at) these guys at the Spectrum. It was my first concert.

Being growed up has it's plusses and minuses, example: I bought the tix so our seats were much closer this time (+), because of that we wore ear plugs (-).

(I'm a day late with this - so shoot me)

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The Cuervo Gold....

2011-09-09T23:53:00.001-04:00

The fine Colombian, make tonight a wonderful thing...

9/9/2011

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Tater

2011-08-30T16:05:00.001-04:00

8/30/2011

Imagine my surprise when I found an actual sweet potato growing in my windowbox. Guess they don't call them 'Sweet Potato Vines' for nothing. It's like a gardening BONUS.

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The Aftermath

2011-08-28T10:37:00.001-04:00

8/28/2011
Along with a few tree limbs, brain cells appear to have sustained some damage.

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Hurricane

2011-08-27T19:35:00.001-04:00

8/27/2011 7:30 PM
Irene

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Winning Shopping List

2011-08-19T08:37:00.001-04:00

8/19/2011

Best part is that I can get it all at the same place.

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Tour de Agony

2011-07-10T18:44:00.001-04:00

7/10/2011
ACS Philly Bike-a-Thon
4500 cyclists riding in support of finding a cure. What a day!

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Independence

2011-07-04T15:45:00.001-04:00

7/4/2011
The CableGuy braving the heat.

Happy Birthday America! Hope you are all having a wonderful holiday weekend.

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Ferocious

2011-06-28T23:19:00.001-04:00

6/28/2011
Apparently the pool ducks are not welcome. I came home to these:

A bit of a closer look:

Rawr (or whatever sound alligators make).

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Sunset

2011-06-26T20:48:00.001-04:00

6/26/2011
From the front steps.

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What to Shoe?

2011-06-23T10:16:00.023-04:00

Hey!

I reached 100 posts the other day. Go me. Only took me 2 years to get there. But, whatever - 100! Where's my cake? Do I have to do some sort of a giveaway? What would you like? Hostas? Lint? A neurotic cat?

I'm currently packing my apt up and moving carloads of my belongings (how did I get so much STUFF?) up to the CableGuy's domain, so her world is being flipped upside down and she doesn't quite know what to do with it. Lately she spends the majority of her time under the bed. Until I get into the bed. Then she comes out and stands on my torso with all of her weight in one paw directly on my boob. The PAIN. You have no idea.

Ha - wait till we move the bed out this weekend, THEN what will the little princess do? I keed, I keed - starting on Saturday she's going to go spend the next month (while we move the big stuff and then go on vacation) chilling at her g-ma and g-pa's (CrabbyC and Tex's) house with her feisty cousin, Ike-kitteh.

Anyway, I digress.

Back on topic......I purchased the dress in the picture below to wear to a wedding in September.

Bling bling - yes, but it's fabulous, and it was over 50% off and I luff it so much. I don't even want to begin to think about how the hell I'm going to wash it or keep from ripping sequins off of it while I sit and fidget (my forte).

My most pressing concern, at the moment, is what do I put on my feet with such a creation?

The chick in the picture (which you can't see) is wearing gold peep-toe heels. I could do the gold, but I can't really do the heels, as the CableGuy is actually several inches shorter than moi (yes, it is true. Luckily I got over THAT issue back in 2000. As long as he weighs more than me, we're good.), I actually am not very good at conducting myself in heels, and peep-toes always make my feet feel like they are being pushed through the end of a ball-point pen.

But it is a wedding, and a fancy dress and I want to look nice. I could probably swing a low-ish heel, something an inch or so, because (as CrabbyC has pointed out) I tend to be a clodhopper in flats, which I wear pretty much exclusively, so I guess that makes me appear to be only a generation or so removed from Cletus the slack-jawed yokel most of the time. But (Yes, I start sentences with 'but' and yes, I have an English degree. Bite me.) also because there will also be much dancing and drinking and general flinging-yourself-around-a-room-full-of-people-you-don't-know-and-let's-not-faceplant-on-the-floor-and-mortify-our-friend-the-mother-of-the-bride-if-we-can-help-it.

So.

If anyone has any ideas, thoughts or suggestions on footwear for Cletus to pair with the above frock, please, speak up. It would be much appreciated.

Now where'd I leave my banjo?

My first TEDx

2011-06-21T23:00:00.001-04:00

6/21/2011

TEDx Phoenixville
At the Colonial Theater

Fascinating.

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My Latest Obsession

2011-06-20T17:44:00.001-04:00

6/20/2011

Nearly a full set of vintage (50's-60's) American Tourister Tiara luggage, in practically mint condition.

Sourced from 3 different locations over the course of several weeks.

I especially love the train case and the round suitcase!

Can't wait to use them.

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Smells like.....Victory

2011-06-11T15:56:00.001-04:00

6/11/11
Victory Brewing Company
Summer Love and Sunrise
Yum.

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First Summer Concert

2011-06-07T20:51:00.001-04:00

6/7/11
Eagleview Town Square
Mason and Porter

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Rosé & Red

2011-05-26T12:43:00.001-04:00

5/25/11
(yes, out of order, but the lighting in the restaurant last night was not conducive to photo taking)

Here we have a non-vintage Ruinart Brut Rosé Champagne (from the local PA LCB) and a 2004 Naudin Echézeaux Grand Cru Red Burgundy (picked up at the producer in Oct. 2008).

Both were perfect with our French meal last evening. And, as far as I am concerned, ANY day is a good day for Champers!

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Duck Pool

2011-05-26T12:27:00.001-04:00

5/26/11
This fella has been paddling around the apartment pool for almost a week now. He has a girlfriend, but she's elsewhere at the moment.

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Babies!

2011-05-10T16:28:00.001-04:00

5/10/11
Mama and Papa Goose are the proud parents of 4 fuzzballs!

They're paddling around the pond at my workplace, checking out their new world.

Welcome to the world baby geese!

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Unhappy Bag 'o Kitty

2011-05-06T20:12:00.001-04:00

5/6/11
At the vet.

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Almost Derby Time

2011-05-02T17:41:00.001-04:00

5/2/11
My hat for the Derby this Saturday arrived!

Now to pick some horses.

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Smells like....Victory

2011-04-30T17:05:00.001-04:00

4/30/11
An easy bike ride to our local brew pub for the Flyers game.

Go ORANGE!

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Mailbox Goodies

2011-04-22T15:44:00.012-04:00

So, the other day I showed you the cover of a publication that I received, unsolicited, in my mailbox.

Let's take a peek into the contents of that catalog, shall we? It's unintentionally (I think, or else these folks are GOOD) hilarious.

First up - the Springy Hair Remover Thingy.

Has anyone ever actually used one of these? I had one of those epi-lady things when I was younger and it hurt like hell to use, on my legs. I think it ripped skin off in addition to hair. This looks like one of those minus the motor. Which somehow seems even more demonic - you're providing the power that rips the little hairs out instead of a battery or wall socket. Why would you do that to yourself? 'Without any redness or rashes'? I don't believe it for a second. Anything that pulls your hair out by the root is going to leave a mark, at least for a little while - have you never gotten a bikini wax? Remember the scene from '40 Year Old Virgin'? The blood spots? For realsies.

Next - the Neck Relaxation Cushion?

Aside from the fact that the lady in the picture looks just like my CEO's assistant (perhaps she's moonlighting?), this appears to be a thinly veiled prop for auto-erotic asphyxiation. Wrap it around your neck to 'ease stress'? Pump it up to inflate? This is better than a pillow over the face. 'Oh, your honor, I was just, um, trying to help her relax, see? I guess I maybe inflated it a little too much.'

Riiiight. Which brings me to the....

....Personal Massagers *snicker*

Come on. Let's call a spade a spade, shall we? They are VIBRATORS. I love how it shows someone massaging their neck area with it. Are you kidding me? I especially like the 'satin bubbles' one. I may or may not have owned something similar in a past life. *sorry Mom* The fact that these are offered in a publication that seems geared to the older folks gives me hope that not all is lost when it comes down to getting with the sexytimes once we've reached the golden years. Rock on with your bad self, G-Ma.

And then, because we know how humans regress as they age, I give you the Washable Big Coverup.

A giant bib to go along with the giant diapers that we will all be sporting while our home health aide feeds us mashed up chicken and broccoli, through a straw. Which, can I just tell you, skeeves me out to the Nth degree? I do not like my food to touch on my plate so the idea of mashing everything together and eating it makes my hands itch something fierce. Then I have to go wash them a whole bunch of times.

OCD - I has it.

Finally, and I saved the best for last (you're welcome), we have the 'Tummy Liner'.

Uh. Hmmmmm. 'Tummy' seems a bit, I don't know, light as a descriptor. But I guess that calling it what it truly is - a Meat Apron Maxi-Pad (TM) - would turn a few folks off and they'd sell a lot less of these.

I know the photo is not so great (stupid iPhone camera), but the blurb about it says that it helps 'prevent heat rash and FUNGUS (emphasis mine) that can develop under the abdominal fold'.

I'm sorry, did you say FUNGUS? How long has your nasty ass not taken a bath if FUNGUS is growing in your abdominal fold? I think that there are bigger problems to address if someone actually has a frigging mushroom farm in their fat flaps.

Although, if they've got truffles in there, well then maybe some sort of a win-win financial arrangement can be negotiated.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves

2011-04-20T20:59:00.001-04:00

4/20/11
In my mailbox today.

It's filled with all sorts of shit for the *ahem* more 'mature' individual.

How the hell did I get on their mailing list?

We all know that I'm nowhere near 'mature'. Well, mentally.

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For 'da Shawties

2011-04-16T15:49:00.001-04:00

4/16/11
Annual Red Cross Walk
Memorial Hall, Fairmont Park

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The Grey Ghost

2011-04-15T21:06:00.001-04:00

4/15/11
2003 Grey Ghost Late Harvest Vidal (and The Cable Guy)
Purchased for me by my buddy Walt at the producer way back in 2003.

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Swimsuit Season

2011-04-14T22:54:00.001-04:00

4/14/11
The cover is off!
Time to step up the workouts.

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Spring is Springing!

2011-04-13T15:01:00.001-04:00

4/13/11
Hostas are starting to come up!
In planters on the deck.

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Silly Goose

2011-04-07T12:05:00.001-04:00

4/7/11
This fella sees his reflection in the glass doors to my office building and thinks it's another suitor hell-bent on making time with his beautiful bride.

He is tapping his beak against the glass and I tapped back, but he didn't seem the least bit fazed.

I opened the door and invited him in, but he seemed a bit wary of the invitation.

Behind him is the pond where the koi live, and where his lady friend is grubbing away on grass, oblivious that her man is defending her honor so vigorously.

We have ducks too and a heron, but I've yet to see them make the trek across the drive and have it out with the entrance to our digs.

You go goose-guy. You tell that OTHER goose how it's going to be.

A Feast for the Eyes (literally)

2011-04-06T14:14:00.003-04:00

4/6/11
A 3-fer today. Lucky you!

These photos are of the array of snacky s'mores that live in the kitchen on the second floor of my work. It's (literally) less than 50 feet away from my cube. There is an identical setup on the 3rd floor (aka 'The Nerdery' (TM)). What you can't see are that the drawers are filled with every kind of gum you can think of, as well as tic tacs, lifesavers, mentos, and altoids. We also have drawers stuffed with all different types of power bar-type stuff.

Everything is free. FREE. Can you imagine?

It calls to me, the chocolate bars sing showtunes, just to me. 'Eat me, you know you want to. A little never hurt anyone. Everything in moderation.' (I know that's not a showtune. Shut up.)

The candy bars don't understand that I was raised with the 'if a little bit works, a lot has to be GREAT!' mentality. Seriously - ask my mom about the time I burned up my 100 sq ft lawn with an entire bag of Weed and Feed.

Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to walk in here and just get a cup of coffee and not cart half the stuff back to my cube? Seriously - I could put ear hooks on those glass candy jars and wear them around like feed bags.

It's a good thing we have a gym here.

It's not a good thing that I haven't actually used it in almost a year.

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Critters!

2011-03-26T21:18:00.001-04:00

3/26/11
Schuylkill Wildlife Rescue Open House.

This was a red tailed hawk that lives at the Center.

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Furthur

2011-03-18T20:30:00.001-04:00

3/18/11
Tower Theater

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You can't have it! Its mine!

2011-03-17T14:03:00.001-04:00

3/17/11
Happy St. Pats!
This princess found a tiara fitting the occasion. And it lights up! Thanks Mom!

(overuse of exclamation points! is intentional!)

(sorry about the bathroom photo, mirror options are limited here at the nerdery)

Slainte!

Edited to add: Holy shit do my hands look monstrous in this photo. I promise, my paws are not gargantuan and arthritic. In fact, one of my best friends growing up used to say that my fingers looked like chalk with skin on them. Ok, so that's not necessarily better. Shut up.

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Beware the Ides

2011-03-15T18:32:00.001-04:00

3/15/11
Alsace Grand Cru
2001 Wolfberger Pinot Gris.
Picked up at the producer 10/2008. Yummy.

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Straight beats Curly

2011-03-11T19:31:00.001-05:00

3/11/11
Keratin
Changed my LIFE.

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Downward Facing Nip-Slips

2011-03-10T10:28:00.006-05:00

See this picture?

(from Victoria's Secret)

Would you do yoga in that top? Would you do any sort of rigorous activity in that top? I mean, aside from the 'horizontal indoor sports' variety activity.....Booka-BOW.

The photo is from an email that Vickie's sent me advertising for their 'Gotta Have Yoga Essentials' campaign. As soon as I saw it I thought - 'there is no way in HELL that I would try to practice yoga in a spandex tube top.', and I'm pretty sure that most other regular-type yoga folks would agree. What I 'gotta have' on my yoga top are STRAPS to hold the damn thing up. It's enough that normal yoga tops tend to ride up around the bottom during practice - can you imagine having to yank up your sweaty tube top throughout the hour and a half class? And what about all of the forward bending postures? If you've got anything going on in your chestular region they'd be falling out every time you bend over. WTF VS?

I will admit that it's a cute top and a cute look overall, but don't try to sell me the idea that anyone is exercising for reals in that getup. You also aren't practicing yoga with that hairdo and all that makeup either. At least not real yoga, in a studio with other people and any sort of heat going on. If anyone ever walked into my studio in that top I don't think I could keep it together. I would definitely have to position myself where I could snicker as I watch them struggle with their sartorial choice, which really sort of goes against the principles of yoga, but we can debate my shitty attitude later.

But come on Vicky, really?

Espadrilles...? Meh.

2011-03-08T17:46:00.001-05:00

3/8/11
I think they are about a half size too small (ordered online and they didn't come any bigger), but that doesn't negate the fact that I just don't have 'espadrille feet'.

Sigh.

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The BEER SQUARE

2011-02-25T16:03:00.002-05:00

2/25/2011
See that 'B'?

That is the best part of my work week. It's the BEER SQUARE. It means that it's time to saunter on over to one of my co-worker's cube to grab a brew and relax for the last hour of the week.

Cheers! to you. Enjoy your version of the BEER SQUARE.

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V Day Dinner

2011-02-16T22:02:00.001-05:00

2/16/11
Birchrunville Cafe
My dessert after a most delicious dinner.

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Be my Valentine

2011-02-14T19:16:00.001-05:00

2/14/11
The Cable Guy's Valentines.
They're just waiting for him to get home.
Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

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The true high?

2011-02-11T16:52:00.001-05:00

AGAIN with the false advertising.
WTF Apple?
This makes my head hurt.

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The true low?

2011-02-11T10:40:00.001-05:00

2/11/11
The weather thingie on my iPhone makes me nuts sometimes. If it's 9 degrees out at 6:49 AM, how can the low for the day be frigging 25? This ranks up there with the day it told me that it was -36 in Tampa.

Stop trying to give me an eye twitch, Apple. That shit ain't cool.

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It's a box!

2011-02-10T17:39:00.001-05:00

2/10/11
Like Christmas all over again. Yay! Time to dig in.
(there's bikinis in there)

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These boots...

2011-02-09T20:55:00.001-05:00

2/9/11
Actually fit my legs! This is a big deal. Don't worry, the silver mesh bit comes off for when I don't want to look like an equestrian biker chick.
(and they were 50% off, and I had a coupon on top of it - woot!)

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Woot! Packers!

2011-02-06T22:37:00.001-05:00

2/6/11
Packers 31, Steelers 25
Guess who I was dressed for?

Oh, and a bonus shot from the rear. It should say 'Mrs. Matthews'. :)

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Happy Feet

2011-02-03T15:58:00.001-05:00

2/3/11
Pretty tootsies.
Doing what I can to combat the Winter Blahs that seem to have taken over. I love the cold and snow, just not quite this much all at once. (yes, I am well aware that I have finger-toes and outsize big toes. I got them from my grandfather and if you make fun of them you will find out rather quickly that they can pinch)

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Snow Day

2011-01-26T19:13:00.001-05:00

1/26/11
Madamoiselle la Most Beautiful Cat in the World curled up next to Mommy while she works from her couch office.

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Even my hair follicles hurt

2011-01-24T20:32:00.003-05:00

Ahhhhh, yoga.

OW, yoga.

My foray back into the studio (one of those pesky resolution things) was fantastic and juicy and exhilirating while it was happening, not so much for a few days following that initial class.

See, they heat the room at my studio to almost 100 degrees. You won't believe the positions you can wrestle yourself into after spending an hour basically doing calisthenics in that kind of heat. It fools you into thinking you're Gumby. Guess what. You're not. There, I saved you a lot of pain. In addition to all that, you sweat like a meatloaf. There's dripping and everything.

I was CRIPPLED. Crippled I say. Unbelievably sore the next day and the next day and the next. I couldn't lift my arms higher than shoulder height and just sitting still hurt. I was too weak to take pictures. On the third day, I rose again and dragged my moaning, sorry ass to the yoga class at my office and tried to work out some of the ouch. (Seriously though - moaning does make it hurt a bit less)

It sort of worked. Felt kind of horrible while I was doing it - and oh MY GOD, I didn't realize how agonizing bridge pose could be. The day after though, I definitely felt a bit better. I could once again dress myself.

By the end of the week, the bod was mostly back to normal. I could cross my legs without wincing and holding my breath, and showering wasn't much of a challenge anymore.

So now I'm doing it all over again this week. Why not? Hey, maybe I could get my very own telethon out of it. A telethon for sweaty, crippled meatloaves (meatloafs?).

Is Jerry Lewis still alive?

Pron

2011-01-23T21:59:00.003-05:00

1/23/2011
The Cable Guy
(he's washing dishes while the Steelers win)

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Revolution

2011-01-17T16:36:00.002-05:00

1/17/11
This is my yoga bag.

I haven't practiced in so long that I can't remember the last time I was in the studio.

I am attending the hardest class they offer after work today.

If you don't hear from me for a few days, send beer. And cheese. And maybe some painkillers and BenGay.

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Hi-Tek

2011-01-15T18:17:00.002-05:00

1/15/11
I've got my own cloud!
(yay cloud)

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Who's the cheap drunk tonight?

2011-01-13T15:40:00.002-05:00

1/13/11
Blood drive at work
(I am such a good person) bwa-ha-ha.

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The bird crap remains

2011-01-12T14:47:00.003-05:00

1/12/11

After the somewhat anti-climactic snowfall, the Trusty Focus is ready to convey my cabin-fever suffering rear end to the office.

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Playoffs!

2011-01-09T20:40:00.002-05:00

1/9/11
Lincoln Financial Field
Eagles vs. Packers
(I don't want to talk about it) :(

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Wine Oh

2011-01-08T18:25:00.002-05:00

1/8/11
2001 Voarick Aloxe-Corton
Picked up at the producer 10/2008

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Snow!

2011-01-07T19:28:00.003-05:00

1/7/11
The deck.

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Out and About on Wednesday (daily photo)

2011-01-05T15:44:00.001-05:00

1/5/11
At the Gap
(in the dressing room! Naughty!)

This is my first try at blogging from my phone - so in case it's wonky looking, hopefully that's the reason.

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It's 2011, do you know where your kids are?

2011-01-03T16:12:00.013-05:00

Happy New Year to you all. I hope your 2011 is even better than 2010.

Have you seen the gyms? For the next three weeks the parking lots will be full.

Resolutions, shmesolutions. I did, however, try to come up with some things that I would attempt to make a commited effort to in the coming year; things like 'get back into a regular yoga practice', and 'save more, spend less' - you know, the normal shmesolution-type dreck. I did gleap an idea from a commenter over on Jezebel - she took a photo each day with her iPhone and posted it to her blog as a sort of chronicle of her year. This, I thought, I can do. And since 'blog' was on the list of things to hopefully get around to - they seemed to go hand in hand with each other and lo and behold! it's January 4th and I've yet to post a frigging thing.

OK, well, without further ado, I present you with my first three photos. 3, not 4, because there wasn't anything that interesting to take a picture of yesterday. So, we'll all have to live with the fact that I'm probably not going to get 365 pictures posted this year. I figure that if I get half that; I'll be doing pretty good. Nothing like aiming mediocre.

1/1/11

The Cable Guy

(he's watching the Rose Bowl)

1/2/11

Best Buy

(researching laptops for him up there)

1/4/11
Eagles Tickets for Sunday's Playoff Game

(woot!)

Did any of you guys make any resolutions? Even if it was to drink more, eat more and sleep more?

She's baaaaack.

2010-09-17T11:42:00.006-04:00

Well hello interwebz. Long time, no see.

How's everyone doing? LOVE the new hair. Have you lost weight?

Things with me are good. There has been a lot of change in the last few months, but change is good. I have found out that I am the type of person who needs radical change in their life on a semi-regular basis to keep sane. Is anyone else like this?

I'm flying solo these days and my hosta garden, actually a portion of it, is now in residence at CrabbyC's place. She's graciously made room in her already overflowing garden beds for some of my favorites. They'll lounge around her digs until I've got an appropriate location for them.

Do not fret, though, as I do have several specimen (is that already plural? like deer or fish?) potted up on the balcony of my 'much-less-maintenance-and-I'm-kind-of-digging-it' new(ish) apartment. Couldn't imagine not having hostas in my eyeline, no matter where I'm at.

The weather is changing though, and leaves are going to have to start being trimmed off as they yellow and droop. I can say, that though I miss the trees, I do NOT miss cleaning up 10 million leaves once they've fallen.

But, the change in weather also ushers in football season. Woot! I've got my FF team in place and I even won my first matchup, despite the freaking Bengals shitty defense garnering me a -1. A MINUS 1. I didn't even know that FF points went into the negative. I've switched it up this week, as I've also got the defense for Philly in my back pocket. They are playing Detroit this coming Sunday and apparently Detroit is none too good, so there is hope for me to get out of owing points this go-round. Keep your fingers crossed for me. kthx.

In addition to the NFL, it seems that rugby season has also kicked off. The Rocket Scientist plays for a local club and yours truly found out a couple of months ago that one CrabbyC actually digs rugby. (Who knew?) So, she and I will be taking in a match tomorrow afternoon. I have to say that I am quite looking forward to big, strong guys in tiny little shorts bashing up against each other and not stopping the action every 60 seconds for a commercial break. I haven't been to a match since high school (and even then it was more for the guy watching), so I am not entirely sure how the game works.

However, I do know that there is beer for everyone afterward. If my reward is beer, I'll learn the rules.

So, there you have it. I have made my triumphant return. (cue the trumpeters)

It's good to be back.

Not dead yet - just in a holding pattern

2010-06-17T08:55:00.004-04:00

Hey there.

Just wanted to let you know that I've not dropped off of the face of the earth or been waffled by an 18-wheeler. I'm still around, but am dealing with some pretty big life changes round these parts right now. They'll affect this place a bit, once I get back to posting. Which, at this point, I can't say when that will be. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

I'm still keeping up with everyone else's blogs, and I'll try to comment when I can. You know, to quell the rumors that I died while drinking a soda and eating Pop Rocks at the same time. Just like Mikey.

Ms. Deb

The Agony of Defeat

2010-05-24T08:15:00.028-04:00

There used to be a show on ABC (on the weekends, I think) when I was a kid called The Wide World of Sports. The opening footage rolled though 'the thrill of victory' - with an athlete winning something big, and then switched to this ski jumper wiping out horrifically and the voiceover moving to 'the agony of defeat'. Every week I (and countless others) watched as that poor guy's (who's name is Vinko Bogataj) worst moment, probably ever, was replayed over and over and over again.

I've found the video on You Tube, in case you're interested, it's below.

Last Sunday, I got to experience my very own 'agony of defeat' moment.

28 miles in to a 35 mile bike ride, I wiped out going around a downhill curve at about 30 mph. There was no video, unfortunately. I did have a witness, however; the IT Guy from work that I was riding with. He advises that I flipped over a few times landing on my head and right side, and eventually coming to rest on my back.

Quite impressive, apparently.

Before I went down, when I knew I was going to eat it; I managed to get myself over to the grass on the side of the road and as such, avoided any sort of road rash or nasty cuts. I did manage to acquire a black(-ish) eye and nose as well as assorted bumps and bruises on my person and a (I think) dislocated shoulder (when I was being examined in the ER - I should sue that ER doc! But he WAS very cute). I cracked my helmet and broke my sunglasses (heartbreak!).

The bike is OK - it's currently at my LBS* getting checked out, but upon a cursory inspection by one of their guys, seems to be fine. I chalk this up to my having had a number of nasty crashes before, and learning the hard way how to fall off of a bike (let go of the bike, do not put your hands or arms out to brace yourself, and go limp). But, because I was primarily a mountain biker, I never fell at that speed. Let me tell you something - it HURTS, a LOT. I don't know how the Tour de France riders get back up and keep riding after those pile-ups they get into - dude, they're going 60 miles and hour and they rack out onto asphalt. THE HORROR.

Back to me. I'm doing pretty good. My face is healing and the bruises are fading. I'm still a little sore, but nothing I can't handle. My only ongoing problem is my right arm. I've got an appt. with my Dr. this afternoon to see if I need an MRI on it or what. Keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't need anything major. Do me a favor and keep yours crossed for me too.

A couple of photos for your viewing pleasure:

The IT Guy and I at the start of the ride.

And me, right after the crash, once he'd made sure I wasn't in any imminent danger and had called for a SAG wagon to come pick up my sorry ass.

Note where my bike landed in relation to where I eventually came to rest - letting go of the bike when you're going down is so important. You do not want to fall onto your bike, if you can at all help it. They are hard and sharp and pointy. These attributes do not mix well with fleshy people bits.

Also - helmet, helmet, HELMET. This I can not stress enough. It doesn't matter if you are just going for a spin around the block or on a full blown century ride. I don't care how dorky you think they are or how they make you look. You will look a whole lot more dorky in the coffin after the mortician has done his best at putting your head back together, if he even can. This is the second time that a bike helmet has saved my noggin in a crash. My helmet cracked the entire way through this time - and I landed on GRASS, not the road. You do not want to experience your skull slamming, unprotected, onto any surface, trust me. You know what a watermelon does when it's thrown on the ground? That's exactly what a human head will do.

Not a pretty picture, huh?

I was very, very lucky - this could have been a lot worse.

So there you have it. I'm just bummed that I don't have the video - if I did, I would submit it to one of these weekend sports-type shows to use for their 'agony of defeat' segment.

And then I could be famous.

*LBS - Local Bike Shop. Do these guys a solid and throw them your bike business. You will have a much better experience with them than at the big-box bike stores.

A lone PSA and a bit of groveling.

2010-05-11T11:29:00.014-04:00

Hello!

While I haven't been here, I've been indulging myself in a bit of a liquid diet and a looky-loo up the old pooper, with pictures and everything. Faboo. You're so jealous.

For those of you not in the know (and those who haven't had the pleasure), yes; I had a COLONOSCOPY on Friday.

And I highly recommend.

Why? Well not only is the anaesthesia fantastic, but hey, I'm OK. Completely normal and nothing to worry about. I was in and out in just about 2 hours and back to wandering the house, bothering the kittehs pretty much as soon as I got home.

A COLONOSCOPY is NO BIG DEAL. And I am living proof of that.

I don't have too much to report on the procedure itself, because I was out for it. This is the beauty of it - you don't even know what's happening. What could be nicer? I felt fine after - just a little crampy, but that went away in a few hours. Other than the cramps - nothing. Not. A. Thing.

Aside from the non-red/purple liquid diet I suffered through on Thursday (all the lemon Jell-o and chicken broth I could choke down) and the kind of yucky-tasting prep stuff and associated bathroom activity, it just wasn't that bad. Really, the worst part is the prep.

You have to take 2 pills and then 2 hours later you start drinking the roto-rooter concoction. Hey it looks just like water! Because you've mixed a gallon of water into the powder in the container. But it's not water, not even close. It's weird and kind of salty and thick and the flavor packets don't do shit to improve upon it much, even though I mixed in both the cherry and the lime ones. Truthfully, even the disgusting prep liquid isn't that awful - except for the fact that you have to drink the gallon in 8 ounce increments over the course of 2 hours. You get full, fast. Really, strangely full. It was a weird feeling, and the paper they gave me was right - keep moving around and it won't be so bad. (I did laundry and walked around the house grouching, while GeekBoy had a massage - he has it so tough)

However, once the 'activity' starts, it's constant. But you do feel a lot better. And bonus - I lost 3 pounds from Wednesday to Friday morning*. Of course I gained it all back over the weekend when I felt that since I'd subjected myself to this perceived atrocity, that I was on the all-I-could-eat meal plan. We'll see tomorrow when it's my official WW weigh-in day.

Anyway - what I'm trying to say is that if you've got some issues and you're afraid or you're of the age and you haven't had one of these (yes mom, I am looking right at YOU) - just do it. Please. As the commercial says, it's a lot easier to have the procedure than it is to have to tell your family and friends that you have terminal colon cancer and it all could have been avoided if you'd only had the freaking colonoscopy. An old boss of mine, his mother-in-law died (on Christmas Day) of ovarian and uterine cancer. Because she NEVER had a pap smear or gyno check, she felt it was too invasive. I wonder how much MORE invasive the unsuccesful treatment for the cancer wound up being.

Don't be like her. Get your works inspected. Be on the safe side. JUST DO IT.

Onto the semi-related groveling portion. The Cancer Ride (technically the ACS Bike-A-Thon Philadelphia) is coming up in July and I'm all registered and whatnot. So, good people, if you are able, consider making a donation to the ACS in support of my pedaling 66.1 miles in the sweltering July heat. We all know someone who currently suffers from or has passed away from this terrible disease. If you are so inclined, the link to my page is here. Anything is appreciated, and as I've stated before, the donations are what keeps me going once I'm out there. It would be way easy to stop after 20 miles and hop on one of the sag wagons, but when people put up their hard earned coin in support of me and my bike - I gotta finish. For them, and for those folks who are sick and would give ANYTHING to be able to just hop on a bike and go. How lucky am I that I don't have limitations like that right now? So, please, every little bit helps.

Of course I will be bringing my tale of this year's ride back to you in picture format. I may even have a couple of new faces to add to mine and the Rocket Scientist's. Currently I am recruiting the IT Guy and the BeanCounter to join us this year. Keep your fingers crossed for me. The more people I can get to suffer alongside me, the merrier.

So there you have it. Shit talk and begging all in one convenient, easy to swallow post. I'm nothing if not efficient.

And I thank you for your support.

*This is why they make the prep gross. People would be using it as a quick weight-loss tonic if it were actually pleasant.

Here's where I've been

2010-04-30T15:48:00.004-04:00

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth or anything. I'm just completely engrossed in this.

Oh my god, there's babies! (baby animals of any type are enough to reduce me to a puddle of warm goo.)

Well, just one right now, but 4 eggs left to hatch.

It's Arbor Day - go hug a tree. I'll be hugging a few of mine when I get home.

Maple Sugar Festival

2010-04-09T14:31:00.004-04:00

Last month, GeekBoy and I ventured out into the world to attend the Maple Sugar Festival at the John James Audubon Center at Mill Grove. Turns out that Audubon, PA is kind of named after him, because he lived there. Who knew? And I grew up and spent the majority of my adult life in this area. Impressive, huh?

Back to the sweets.

Turns out, there are a bunch of Sugar Maple trees on the grounds of Mr. Audubon's estate. (his dad owned the place and sent the younger Mr. Audubon there to oversee it at age 18) They tap them once a year, when the weather is just about right - cool overnight and into the early morning, warming up through the mid morning and day. It gets the sap flowing, as it were.

We wandered around for a few hours and were quite pleasantly surprised by the place.

The main drive is lined with the Sugar Maple trees. Most of them had these galvanized steel buckets hanging from them, collecting the sap.

I tried to get a shot of the sap dripping off of the little spout in the tree. You can kind of see it.

We were allowed to stick our fingers under the spout and taste the sap as it came out - it's really not very sweet. Kind of like a sugar water.

Because you are dying to see in the bucket, I took a picture of that too. You're welcome.

There were a few working exhibits that demonstrated how maple sap was collected and used different times throughout history. At the Native American sugaring spot, it showed that they used wooden troughs and straws to collect the sap and then hot stones in the trough to evaporate out the water, leaving the maple sugar.

In the 18th century, they boiled the sap in big metal pots and moved it to higher or lower temperatures depending on at what point in the process it was.

Did you know that it takes 40 gallons of sap to make a gallon of maple syrup?

I didn't either, but I do now.

Moving right along.....
On our way to the big house, we passed this guy. He was taste testing real maple syrup against that 'pancake syrup' stuff. It was pretty easy to tell the difference, at least for me. Some people seemed to be having a bit of a hard time, I'm not sure if they really were confused, or if they were putting a show on for their kids. Because, yeah, kids love it when you act a fool for their benefit. So do I.

From the tasting station, we moseyed on down the path to see what was happening over that way.
There was another demonstration going on, this one more akin to the modern day making of maple syrup.

Seems there's really only one way to do it - evaporate out the water to leave the maple sugar.

The different grades of the syrup were also explained to us. It seems that the fancy syrup is the lightest. I had no idea. Learn something new every day.

The Center at Mill Grove also has CRITTERS! (owls, actually)

Look at him! Isn't he cute? And very well behaved. I want one.

The owls have their own building on the grounds where they are kept. Each one of them has been rescued and wouldn't make it out in the wild on their own. If I remember correctly, they all have vision problems.

One of the volunteers talked to the group of us that had been milling about around the owl house about them for a little while. She was going in to put one of the owls out into the screened enclosure so he could get some fresh air. Of course we had to go around to the enclosure to see.

Aw. Owlie. He's actually missing an eye, which sucks. What does not suck is that he gets to live at Mill Grove and is well looked after. That cord hanging down from his bottom is a tether that's tied to his leg. It was actually kind of funny to watch him try to get away from the caretaker while she held on to it, when she was putting him out. Poor guy.

The grounds of the Center are beautiful. I imagine that it was a wonderful place to live. There is something about having a body of water on your house property that I really like - I'm not sure why.

More owl pictures.

I couldn't get enough of these little guys. We have some owls in our woods, but we never see them, we just hear the hoot-owl once in a while.

We finally made it into the actual house. John James Audubon was REALLY into birds. On a bit of an esoteric level. I like them too - we have an assload of feeders set up and I'm forever whipping out my bird book to see what each one is. Sometimes I take pictures of them. Maybe I will show them to you at some point.

His house was filled with paintings and drawings of birds, his journals, and many different stuffed and mounted specimens. (is that right? it doesn't look right)

Here we have a display of duck-like birds that are native to the property. Mr. Audubon most likely wrung their little necks himself. I can't remember if it told us that or not. I'm making a guess.

The walls of the main hallway and up the stairs were covered in this kind of cool mural that depicted all sorts of winged things.

A bat! I LOVE bats - they eat bugs. We installed a bat house last year on the side of our house. No residents yet, but I keep checking. They say it can take a while for them to move in - something about the smell needing to wear off of the cedar. Whatever, all I know is that I want me some bat residents. Please.

More drawn and stuffed (and sculpted) birds.

We got to peek in his boudoir as well. Canopy bed and everything. With macrame trim.

And bird stuff. Everywhere.

The man himself. This room had a lot of kids in it so we left pretty much as quickly as we could.

Lots of stuffed birdies in this room.

I'm not familiar with what it feels like to have an all-consuming hobby or career, so the level of effort that Audubon put into this stuff is a bit foreign to me. I can't imagine what his days were like. Although, if I was being basically supported by his dad, who knows what kind of trouble I could get into with my Hostas.

My favorite - the bald eagle. They just look so freaking badass. And they're HUGE. You can't tell it from this picture, but trust me. Big bird.

That's it for the house. On our way to the all-you-can-eat pancake deal, we passed one of these birdhouses with the 'Bird Habitat' sign on it.

Turns out that you can register your property with the PA Audubon Society as a Bird Habitat, if you've got the right plants (which you can always install) and cover and food for them and available water and you're not using pesticides or anything else detrimental to the feathered folks. Well, shit. I think we might just qualify. Just in case though, I've got a spot out back that I plan to rip the ivy out of (removing invasive non-native plants - WIN!) and replant with native plants that birds and the insects that birds like, like. (vocabulary FAIL)

Then there's a test I have to take to see if we've got what it takes to get one of them there cool signs. I'll let you know how it goes.

Finally, we found our way to the pancakes. Yum. And they served them with the real maple syrup - which we then bought some of. Of course. And maple sugar candy. Mmmmmmm.

I just ate lunch, but now I'm hungry again.

Cocktail Hour - J. Lohr 7 Oaks Cabernet (Paso Robles 2007)

2010-04-03T10:04:00.001-04:00

As a self-proclaimed wine weenie, I am forever on the hunt for reasonably priced everyday drinking wines. Once in a while, I find something worth buying a case of and shouting about from the rooftops. This wine is one of those somethings.

I first tasted it at Chima, a Brazilian steakhouse downtown, during Phila. Restaurant Week this past January. At $13/glass*, it was one of the most expensive, if not THE most expensive cabernet on their menu. I figured we would be eating a lot of red meat - I should get a big red wine to go with it. It was love at first sip. (and Chima ain't so bad, either)

The 7 Oaks is not a huge wine, but it is round and fruity and a little weighty. It's not terribly tannic, which makes it perfect for drinking right now (yay!), but according to J Lohr's website, it can be kept for up to 5 years. This is great. I am interested in trying this again, and again, and again to see how it's aging and progressing. Good thing that we bought a case of it. At $12.99/bottle, it's a freaking bargain.

Run, don't walk, to your closest wine emporium and ask for this stuff. I don't think you will be disappointed.

Cheers.

*A bit of wine geekery for you - generally the price charged per glass is the price that the restaurant paid for the entire bottle. That way, if they only sell one glass of it before it turns, they've at least made their money back. This is useful in determining if a particular wine is something that you might want to pick up a bottle or 3 of the next time you're at the local (or not so local) wine and spirits shop.

Everything's coming up.....Hostas and such

2010-04-02T11:01:00.001-04:00

This is one of my most favorite times of the year around our yard. I'm always pleasantly surprised to see that my perennials return after winter. Not sure why they wouldn't, but it makes me feel like more of a real gardener when they do.

Validation - I gots it.

What's happening in my garden you ask?

Grape Hyacinths. For the most part, these were here when we bought the house. I've added a few, but I can't take credit for the majority of them. Around the other side of the tree, I'm trying to create a 'river' of them, but it's not coming about as quickly as I'd like. Not sure if these little guys naturalize or not - I think I'm just going to have to plant a whole bunch more and then over plant with some sweet woodruff (or as we call them - daisylooking plants), as grape hyacinths don't last for too long, in fact, their 'leaves' emerge full force in the Fall, get all shitty over the winter, then the flowers show up in the Spring. Then they die back. Such is the cycle of life.

Below are some Stars of Bethlehem. I love how they burst out of the leaves (see all the leaves? they're part of my weekend plans, yay me.). They'll get a bunch of little white star shaped flowers on them after a while. The flowers close up at night and open up again in the morning. These were already here too. We've got loads of them. A bunch of them are growing in the dirt patch between the front beds and the street. I'm slowly digging them up and moving them into the beds, so they don't get trampled.
More bursting. More leaves. Jesus, that's a lot of leaves. Luckily, they all sort of fuse together and peel up off the ground in these big leafy sheets. Which exposes all the worm poop below. Our earthworms are PROLIFIC. They have been hard at work over the winter, and they make the best dirt. Luckily, CrabbyC and Tex are coming over on Sunday and I'll have some help getting the leaves up. I'd love to leave them on the ground, but they are a tough barrier for a lot of plants to get through - it's sad to uncover anemic looking sprouts, and sometimes the leaves get caught around my tulips and create a kind of choke-hold on them.

Vicious bastards, those leaves. So, we have bursting and choking. FUN.

The hosta beds have been cleared out, but so far, not too much action going on in them. And I have to put my sign out.

This is our corner. It's another work in progress. I've got some hostas in here, along with a couple of ferns, a grassy plant, vinca, and a chrysanthemum. It gets a fair amount of morning light, so I may, at some point, try a few things that like a little AM sun out here - just to see how they do.

What absolutely loves this bed is the daisylooking plants. They spread out and create a lush groundcover that other plants poke up through. I highly recommend. All of my woodruff came from CrabbyC's garden. The stuff below was one or two stems that went in the ground 2-3 years ago. And this is March/April. I can't wait to see it in May.

Hostas are slowly starting to peek out of the ground. I'm a nut and spend at least 30 minutes after work, almost every day, wandering around our property, staring at the ground and futzing with the soil.

These are from the terraces.

Here we have Red October:

And Guacamole. I hate avacados though. But Guacamole hosta is pretty cool.

That's all from the terraces, because right after I took the picture of the guac, I stepped right on another emerging hosta and freaked out. So much for the up close and personal approach to the terraces. At least until these things come up a little further and I can spot them more easily. Easier? Whatever.

The success I've had with this guy (one of CrabbyC's legacy hostas) in a container has got me considering potting up some more this year. This one has come back for the last 2 years.

A source of frustration for me in our peninsula garden is that emerging lily-of-the-valley and hostas look damn near the same. Since I can't remember from year to year where I've planted what hostas, and the peninsula is completely filled with lily-of-the-valley, I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to tell them apart.

This is a hosta.

These are lily-of-the-valley.

You see the problem.

Because of my addiction, I regularly scour the racks at our local nursery for new babies. I picked up a few items on our last trip. We went in for praying mantis egg-things and came out with more hostas, and no eggs. Story of my life.

This guy is 'So Sweet'. Aw.

And this is 'Regal Splendor'. I have this guy already - maybe even 2 of them. One isn't looking so good out back, so I may be doing some replacement work.

I take chances on sale items. This is 'Hosta Assorted' - so it's anybody's guess what's in the pot. He's got lots of noses popping, which is a good sign. For $2, I'll stick it in the ground (or maybe a container!) and see what comes up. I have another one of these guys on the deck from last Fall, waiting to be planted. I should start another bed and just plant it full of the $2 international hostas of mystery and see what I get.

It's supposed to be 80 today and close to 80 over the weekend. I plan to spend most of my time outside, cleaning up the gardens and getting a bike ride or 2 in. I've got to get some miles under my belt before the Cancer Ride in July. Especially if I'd like to shave another hour off my time and finish before they start dismantling the end point this year.

If I don't have a chance to post again before Sunday, everyone have a happy Easter or Passover or whatever you happen to celebrate.

I celebrate chocolate and champagne. And hostas.

And here's Bishop

2010-04-01T12:47:00.005-04:00

I'm working on a new post, which should be up later this afternoon.

Meanwhile, here's another cat placeholder. May I present to you.....Bishop (aka 'The Fat One') in a bag.

He's our resident mimbo. Very handsome, but dumber than a box of rocks.

2010 Philadelphia Flower Show

2010-03-11T13:45:00.020-05:00

Last week, I packed up CrabbyC in the somewhat trusty Focus and headed into our fair city for the annual Flower Show. We try to make it down every other year. While the exhibit itself is very beautiful, the Convention Center is overrun with old people, ambulatory and also in wheelchairs; and let me tell you - they will knock you down in order to get up close to things. This can make the experience a little less than enjoyable. However, in the last couple of years, the PHS has added a wine & spirits tasting hall to the attractions - woot! I am much more amenable to being run over by some old cooter's scooter (ha - I rhyme!) if I've got a few ounces of liquid patience percolating in my belly.

And so it was. Lots of pictures in this post, not much in the way of writing. The theme for this year's show was 'Passport to the World', so the individual exhibits were based on different countries; India, Holland, Ireland, Africa.....you get the idea. The lighting was not very good for taking pictures, but I did the best I could. (wah, wah, wah)

These two photos were taken at the entrance to the Show.

Some of the exhibits were more artistic in nature, not necessarily things that you could recreate at home, but really imaginative and quite beautiful.

I liked this next one - the plants were encased in 'ice' blocks and suspended from the thing above them, and there was water dripping down from the 'thing' (yes, again having trouble with my words) into the pool below.

I am always on the lookout for Hostas, and wasn't disappointed.

I don't know how they get the azaleas and rhodies to bloom in March - I'm guessing they force them in a greenhouse - mine never look this good.

This next one was called 'The Glass House'. The exhibitor created a giant American flag out of flowers and then entwined all sorts of American 'artifacts' into it. There were Coke cans and pictures of Marilyn Monroe and Elvis, baseballs - if it's patently American, it was in there.

I especially like the exhibits that are woodland-themed. It gives me ideas for stuff to try (and fail at) at our house.

This next guy was cool. The theme for this was 'Route 1 - Maine to Florida'.

Fishie!

The bulbs they had on display were amazing.

Oh - this next exhibit - I have got to have this one. It was an open air bedroom. So very neat.

I had a hard time photographing it. The next two pictures are of the same thing, but one with the flash on and the other with it off. You can figure out which one you like better.

Here's another shot of the whole thing.

One of the exhibitors created an Amsterdam canal, and filled it with bikes and bottles and stuff.

Here's CrabbyC and I in the booze arena.

This is an elephant. (no shit Deb)

In the India exhibit - they created an Indian wedding temple-thing, with these cool flower starbursts in the front of it.

There are a lot of smaller exhibitors as well, not everything is on such a grand scale. Each year, the PHS will pick a theme or medium for them. For this project, everyone had to do something with a Brazilnut.

I liked these geese a lot.

The miniatures are absolutely adorable.

This plant was so neat looking. There was a group of about 5 of us standing around it and we all were itching to touch it - which is a big 'no-no', but we did it anyway. It was fuzzy, but firm feeling. And it lived through the abuse.

This year was a little light on the Hosta entries for the individual entries. Kind of a bummer, but at least there were a few there.

Teeny-Weeny Bikini! (the blue ribbon is for his neighbor, unfortunately) Boo hiss.

Pandora's Box. I have this one in my own garden, last year it got eaten. This year, it will not.

Tiny Tears. LOOK AT IT. It's so tiny!

That's it for the photo show.

I love the Flower Show, in that it gets me all excited to start working outside.

I hate the Flower Show because I know I can't even get close to what they do and it makes me want to go home and burn my house down.

Spring is Springing!

2010-03-05T18:17:00.009-05:00

It's happening! All over our yard!

What ARE these green shooty-things coming up out of the ground?

Can you SEE THEM TOO?

I'm so excited!

Yay! Welcome to the first signs of Spring!

I've been waiting for you.

No soap radio

2010-03-05T11:06:00.002-05:00

Every once in a while, I get a hair up my ass and I'll go off and try something new. The aforementioned pottery classes, watercolor classes, crochet classes, make-your-own lip balm kits, you get the idea.

Thousands and thousands of years ago (ok - circa 1998), in a land far, far away (ok - Berkeley, kind of North Oakland/South Berkeley), I ordered a glycerin soapmaking kit from Martha Stewart. This was back when she still did that sort of stuff. Around the same time, I found a soap and candlemaking supply store on San Pablo Avenue, less than a mile from my house (ok - it wasn't 'my' house. I had half of a duplex. Jill, of Controlling my Chaos fame and her husband and their two cats had the other half. They didn't have the kidlets yet.). Can't remember what the store was called, but I thought I had found my new favorite pasttime.

The Martha soap was easy. Chop up some glycerin, microwave it, mix in some of the additives that came in the kit (scrubby grainy things, scents, colors), pour into vaseline greased molds, let sit a few hours and out pops soap! Soap you can actually use! I was a cottage industry!

Since the Martha kit was only for glycerin soap, and I was determined to make soap the old fashioned way as well, I purchased supplies to make a beeswax type soap (they gave me the instructions for free) using palm oil and lye and, of course, a giant block of beeswax.

I burned myself with the lye. That shit hurts. Making soap from scratch is a labor intensive pain in the ass. And hurty. And it takes freaking forever. And, if it's not done EXACTLY right (there is math involved - snore) it doesn't work, you don't get soap. You wind up with 4 pounds of beeswax scented, yellow sludgy mush that does nothing but sit there and jiggle when you shake the mold around, after having let it sit for a week or so curing. Like concrete. The first batch I made turned out ok, the second; well, let us just say that that's how I know what happens when you don't do it right.

I still have the block of beeswax, but I don't make 'pioneer days' type soap anymore. My need for instant gratification can't take it. So I am relegated to the world of glycerin soap - which is fine. I can still pump it up with all sorts of goodies that I find in my kitchen cabinets to keep it from being boring, and it's done relatively quickly, with little potential for injury.

When I was living in New Hampshire, in 2001 (I moved around a lot for a number of years), I stopped in at an indoor kind of rotating flea market slash antiques mart, and I found a set of antique metal Jell-o molds. Little ones, single serving-type Jell-o molds. I had an a-ha! moment. I could make Jell-o soaps! Clear, colored, glycerin soaps with fruity scents that would look and smell just like little Jell-o's, but they'd be for washing, not eating.

And so it was. A few times a year, I'd haul out my soapmaking supplies and in an afternoon, I would make enough soap to clean the Philadelphia Eagles for the entire NFL pre-season, regular season and post-season (if they are fortunate enough to make it that far). That's the thing, once you get the everything out, it's not worth it to only make 2 bars. Luckily, I have a couple of friends who will take some of it off my hands. Sometimes, they even come to me asking for it - which is nice.

Such was the case at the end of January.

I didn't take step by step pictures of the entire process, so you are getting just a few highlights.

Here we have some of the simple tools (aside from the nearly finished cup of coffee) for making the Jell-o soaps. I bought 6 molds, but three of them are in much better shape than the others, so I am relegated to making only 3 soaps at a time, all the same flavor. Pause, for you to admire my days-of-the-week dish towels.

3 lime Jell-o soaps cooling on the counter. This day, I made strawberry, lemon, orange and lime.

Some close-up shots of them, once they are popped out of the molds. The lighting is kind of sucky, because we have these stupid cabinets that hang over the bar counter and block any overhead light.

For the nummy-smelling soaps that I expect people would wash themselves with (rather than just their hands, which is what the Jell-o soaps are more suitable for), I use different glycerin bases that already have some emollient added to them. To them, I just add more. If a little works, a lot has to be better. I inherited that gene from my maternal grandfather. Ask CrabbyC about the time I burned up my front lawn with the Weed and Feed.

This is how the glycerin base comes. You could just cut a chunk off and wash with it, but where's the fun in that?

For one of my friends that has super-sensitive skin, I make unscented milk and honey bars. They're just one of the white bases (goats milk or shea butter), that I add cocoa butter, honey and powdered milk to. She swears that it takes away those little bumps that she gets on her arms and stuff - the dry skin bump things. Maybe you know about those.

You can see them below - on the bottom left.

For the rest of the bars, I just throw in whatever I think will go together well. As the proprietor of dry-ish skin, I add copius amounts of moisturizing ingredients - cocoa butter, shea butter, powdered milk, a few shreds of the giant beeswax block. I'm a food-smells person (I understand there are flower-smells people and food-smells people), so I use a lot of stuff from my kitchen. Oatmeal is a favorite, as are cinnamon, vanilla, and honey. There's no rhyme or reason to it and I don't measure anything. I do, however, have to label them so I have a clue as to what's in each one. Going by smell doesn't always work.

Here's most of the day's production sitting on the counter.

And another view of the Jell-o's and the honeycomb-with-bee shaped soaps. Of course I put honey in those bars. I think my OCD would spiral out of control if I didn't.

The soaps were sent off and so far, everyone seems to be enjoying them. I have long harbored a secret wish to open some kind of online store and sell themto the masses, I don't know, maybe one day I will.

And if I could get a contract to provide soap to the Eagles, that would be good too.

Steve Knipp - Hosta Pottery

2010-03-04T12:25:00.011-05:00

Someday (soon, I hope) the sun is going to come out and melt all of this snow so that I can busy myself with actual hostas, rather than whetting my appetite by buying things that just look like them.

Although, there is some beautiful Hosta merchandise out there. Case in point: Steve Knipp's Hosta pottery.

I found out about his work while perusing through Cheesehead Gardening's blog (she's a Hosta Geek too). She had ordered a few pieces from Steve's collection, posted about them, and they were beautiful. So, I sent Steve's link over to GeekBoy for his input and he took it upon himself to email Steve for more information. Steve replied to him with a video he'd made just for us, showing the pieces that he had available and their prices. It was a very cool way to do business - very personal. It was very hard to limit myself to just a few items, I really wanted them all, but we have these pesky bills and such, that keep cropping up.

So, I give to you, the pieces that I (really, GeekBoy) procured:

A sushi-type dish. What's neat and different about Steve's work, is that he actually presses the Hosta leaves into the clay on the front,

and the back. So they are interesting on both sides. And he put felt feet on them! A man after my own heart. I'd put felt pads on the cats paws if they'd stay still long enough. And not scratch the living shit out of me.

Please forgive my less-than-stellar photography skillz - I'm not well versed in the art of still-life photography and making things look like they are floating in a white space. Maybe someday. Probably not, though.

A large leaf shaped serving plate. Steve actually uses a Hosta leaf to create the plate, so they are truly one of a kind items. He's got a video up on his site showing how he makes the hosta leaf bowls, in the event you are interested in maybe trying it out yourself. Me? I'll stick to forking over my credit card instead. I took pottery classes about 10 years ago and some of my little bowls (I never graduated from little bowls) weighed 5 pounds each.

Here's the back of the plate. (felt FEET!) Ignore the packing tape and little trees on the side of my kitchen towel. I'm too lazy to crop them out.

The last piece I got is a small appetizer plate. I'm considering putting it on my dresser and using it to hold jewelry - screw the appetizers. I'm on Weight Watchers, food is the enemy. (not really - it's just that I want it out where I can enjoy it all the time and not shut up in a cabinet somewhere, collecting dust because we never entertain, a byproduct of not liking people).

Even the small pieces have detail on the back. But no felt pads :(

Here they are all together, just waiting to be put to use:

Oh, and Steve also included some cute thank-you cards in the package. I thought that it was a nice touch.

They say 'thanks this much' on the front and are blank inside so you can write your own message.

Steve's got one more piece that I really, REALLY want. Maybe if I'm super duper good, it'll just show up at the house someday. (hint hint - GeekBoy, you know which one I'm talking about)

Next up - maybe some soap. Or maybe more Hosta stuff. Or possibly an owl. Who knows, you'll just have to tune in and see.

The inaugural Lilly (in which I excessively use parentheses)

2010-03-03T11:20:00.010-05:00

Yes, I have been trapped inside for the last few weeks by all of the snow we've gotten. Actually, I was stuck for a few days as it turns out that the trusty Focus isn't all that trusty when it snows more than an inch. I want my Subaru back.

Anyways.

It's almost Spring! As a little reward for losing 10 pounds (I started Weight Watchers in January - a whole 'nother story), I treated myself to a new top.

It's the Lilly P. Roe Biggy Stripe top. Isn't it pretty? As soon as I saw it (on a preppy blog - one of the many that I lurk on), I had to have it. It's been so dreary outside here, what with all of the snow and slush, that it reminded me that spring is around the corner and soon I will be spending lots of time outside in the warm, digging in the dirt and tending to my hostas.

I've never bought anything from Lilly before, although I often find myself surrounded by it when venturing out to certain parts of our area - ahem, Main Line/KOP - I am talking to you. I harbor a secret affinity for preppy items, my high school was full of popped collars, fair isle sweaters and pink/green/navy clothing combinations, but I never really felt that it necessarily suited me; what with the curly red hair and skin that burns rather than tans when left out in the sun for any amount of time. But, whatever, there are no rules and I'm all grown up now - with big girl pants and everything!

I ordered the top from Ocean Palm, a store in Virginia Beach. Let me just say - if you have any inclination towards Lilly Pulitzer, Vineyard Vines or any of the other preppy labels, please check Ocean Palm's website out. Shortly after I placed my order, Janet sent me an email (in addition to the automatic email confirmation) to let me know that the top would be shipping out on Monday and inquiring as to how we were doing with all the snow in PA; as she had just returned to VA from King of Prussia (where, apparently, Lilly P. is headquartered - who knew?). It was very thoughtful of her, and I was totally impressed.

Then I was pleasantly suprised when the package arrived yesterday - it only took a day to get to me - squee! And it is fabulous. I love it. I can't wait to wear it when the weather gets warmer. In the package with the top (which was nicely wrapped in hot pink tissue), was my receipt and a card for Ocean Palm (with a note on the back thanking me for my order and inviting us to stop in the store if we ever find ourselves in Va. Beach), tucked into an adorable pink and green Lilly credit card wallet. It's the little things. Really. I forgot what good service one gets when shopping the 'premium' labels. It's not going to keep me from buying at sales and using coupons, but it is the reason that I will return to her shop and make more purchases.

That is, if I haven't already. :)

(and I've already suggested Va. Beach/Williamsburg as a possible weekend getaway to GeekBoy)

Got Snow?

2010-02-10T10:11:00.025-05:00

We're getting a lot of snow.

On Saturday, we were in the 'potentially paralyzing' section of the map on the Accuweather site.

I know this isn't a LOT of snow by some people's standards, but for SE PA - it is epic.

This is what Saturday looked like:

So thankful for the snowblower, we've got a giant driveway. This is only half of it.

The graphics on the AccuWeather site are cracking me up. I tried to find the 'potentially paralyzing' shot, because it was so funny, but it was gone from their site - the font was vintage horror movie.

Today's graphic isn't quite as alarming:
We are in the 'worst of the storm' band today.

On the next one, we are right in the middle of the dark-ish blue area that's getting another 12-18 inches of snow through tonight. We've gotten almost a foot so far today.

I took these this morning around 9:30 AM:

They've declared a state of emergency here now and have started closing the major roads. Apparently we are also getting 'thundersnow' accompanied by lightning. WTF? It's not supposed to thunder and lightning when it snows. I think Lewis Black did a bit about it being a sign of the Apocalypse.

GeekBoy is outside snowblowing the driveway now. I've been feeding the birds and knockng the snow off of the trees - this stuff is HEAVY.

More to come once I upload more photos.

(yay snow!)

Shadow schmadow - it's a CRITTER! (or, Happy Groundhog Day!)

2010-02-02T15:34:00.003-05:00

Hey everyone! It's PHIL! The most famous groundhog in Pennsylvania. (the second most famous groundhog is his brother, Gus, who shills for the PA Lottery)

Groundhogs make me smile. I see them frolicking in one of the fields I drive past on my way to work. I beep my horn and yell at them to stay out of the road. They always sit up and watch me drive by, shaking my fist at them. Crazy lady in the silver box with the noisemaker.

Yes, we all know that I love the critters.

I just wanted to say Happy Groundhog Day. Up in Punxsutawney, they say Phil saw his shadow.

6 more weeks, huh.

Well, strangely enough, by my calendar the Spring Equinox is scheduled to occur in just over 6 weeks.

Something is screwy here.

A Hosta Interlude

2010-01-20T19:53:00.008-05:00

For Christmas, I did actually receive a couple of Hosta-themed gifts. (Lest any of you think that my obsession has disappeared and I am sliding over to the dark side of Geekdom) My love for all things Hosta never leaves, it just goes a little dormant in the Winter. It's always there and perks up on occasion, especially when I get to flip through the most comprehensive book on Hostas there is.

I present to you......The Hostapedia:

I received this as a Christmas gift from my future MIL. Last year she gave me the Color Encyclopedia of Hostas, which, fantastic in its own right, is not quite as voluminous as the Hostapedia. It's more of a coffee table book with lots of pictures and information, but the Hostapedia dwarfs it by about 6 pounds. Seriously, the thing weighs a metric ton. I pushed aside my other gifts and obnoxiously started paging through it after tearing off the wrapping paper on Christmas Eve, squealing and letting out little shouts here and there, and blabbering on about all of the varieties - while 5 people just sat there and tried to ignore me and get on with their festivities. I could have sat there for hours and hours, rocking and sucking my thumb and drooling. So pretty, I am.

When CrabbyC and I visited Bridgewood Gardens for their Open House in July last year, Chick first introduced me to the Hostapedia and advised that if I wanted information on just about any kind of Hosta ever bred, I had to get this book. He told me that it even contained plants that he introduced years ago and no longer grows. It's THAT comprehensive.

All I know is, I'm going to need a bigger bookshelf.

Next. On Christmas Day, my mom and dad (and GeekBoy) presented me with the sign you see below.

It's going to be placed at the entrance to the section of our property that is devoted to Hostas. CrabbyC and GeekBoy conspired together, used a photo of one of my plants as the background and created the sign online. It's hilarious and I love it. There is a bracket that it goes on with a thing that you jam into the ground to hold it up. (Yes. I know. I am having trouble with my words today)

Now my only worry is living up to the damn sign.

On the third day after Christmas...

2010-01-20T15:59:00.000-05:00

my GeekBoy gave to me:

A brand-spanking new MacBook.

This was after he presented me with a Lenovo NetBook on Christmas Eve. (squee!)

See - my antique G4 iBook had a full (60GB - teeny tiny in this day and age!) hard drive, and couldn't run the Snow Leopard upgrade that he also gave to me for Christmas. The 'black box' (also a Christmas gift) would take some of the load off of the hard drive, but without an upgrade to the OS, I would be stuck practically in the 20th century. And there were no more slots to add faster running hamsters.

I love having my very own live-in Geek Squad (so does CrabbyC).

Macs are pretty easy to use - just open the box and turn it on. The new one had an option to transfer everything from your old Mac to your shiny new one - how convenient.

Here they are - old (on right) and new (on left).

We didn't tether them together - they were talking to each other over our wireless network. I don't know if you can see what the it says below the happy Macs, I can't remember exactly, but it's something like 13 hours remaining on the transfer. GeekBoy says if we had tethered them together it would have been a lot shorter. Um, so why didn't we?

So, 8 days later, my new Mac was up and running - boy is it NICE. GeekBoy inherited my old one and he's been busy tricking it out and showing me all of the things it can do that I never took advantage of.

Whatever. I just got 2 new computers in the span of a week!

Just what he needed was another computer. He still has the one that went to college with him - back in 1987. Someone recently asked him how many computers he had and what was his answer?

'Shut up'.

We are an Apple/PC family; my work machine and the netbook are Windows-based machines, but I also use a Mac. I can't say that I prefer one to the other - I think Apple has an edge over Microsoft in terms of out-of-the-box useability, but Windows applications/software are MUCH easier to find and are less expensive.

What about you? Apple or Microsoft? And why?

Yay! Now he's 2 years older than me!

2010-01-15T09:17:00.005-05:00

It's GeekBoy's birthday today - he's 41. (can you believe it?)

In the spirit of being a true geek, he will be spending the evening duking it out with some like-minded friends in their weekly D&D game.

No worries though, he's being taken out to dinner tomorrow night and Tuesday night to celebrate of his big day.

And PRESENTS - he'll have things to open too.

Happy Birthday Sweetie!

Placeholder (Cat Intro Theme)

2010-01-13T15:31:00.008-05:00

I have a new post all ready to go, except that the photos that go with it, that I know I loaded onto my newfangled external hard drive thingy aka 'the black box', aren't there. WTF?

So, instead, I give you:
Madamoiselle La Most Beautiful Cat in the World, or as we call her - Pretty.

Ignore the cat hair, lint bits and unmade bed. Focus on the PRETTY GIRL.

Pretty is a former supermodel, now spokeskitteh for warm laps. She enjoys taunting the boys, running away from you when you try to pet her and cuddling into the nook of your side when you're sleeping.

Likes: cork toys, special soft food, good pets, boys

Dislikes: taking pills, going for rides in the car, getting her nails clipped, when mommy makes her butt get her

Madamoiselle is the second oldest of our 3 furkids. I adopted her from a shelter when I was living in CA in 1998. Right now she is on steroids, getting over an allergy that was causing her to lick all of the fur off of her belly and parts of her legs, sometimes removing the skin too (ugh - awful). Pretty is on the mend; her fur is growing back and she is still very beautiful (and she KNOWS it).

One down, two to go.

Frowf!

The curious case of the weird table skin

2010-01-06T13:30:00.021-05:00

One night, while in Mexico, GeekBoy and I opted to have a romantic dinner for 2 on the beach. I say romantic because I have a way of sometimes sucking the romance out of stuff we do.

Case in point: our romantic dinner on the beach.

It started out OK, with a nice flaming path to our dining tent on the sand.

Here's GeekBoy, looking all dapper.

If you look at the sheer fabric fastened to the tent poles, you can see it fluttering around, as if bandied about by a gentle sea breeze. In reality - we had hurricane force winds and we were barely able to keep the food on our plates or hear each other talk.

That's not where the romantic part starts to break down, though.

Wait for it.

And here, we have us. I have a white knuckle death-grip on my chair to keep from being blown into the tent down the beach from ours. But, isn't the table kind of cool-looking? With that light inside it?

I thought so. (And here is where it morphs from romant-ic to com-ic)

I really liked the table.

A LOT.

I couldn't help it. It was wearing this kind of, I don't know, full table condom stretchy skin -thing.

I was completely unable to keep my hands off of it. Pressing and poking and tugging at it like a 4 year old, throughout the entire meal. It was SO cool. And kind of SEX-ay, if you must know.

GeekBoy soon tired of my antics with the table condom:
And ordered me to pay attention to my dinner. Before it blew away and gained a side of sand.

Not all of the romance was lost, however, we did finish with a very romantically themed dessert:

But if anyone knows where I can get one of those table condom things, PLEASE tell me! I'm kind of jonesing over here.

Let's take a wee step back

2010-01-06T12:36:00.009-05:00

Hey! Here I am.

No, we didn't decide to stay in Mexico and spend the rest of our days drinking margaritas and panhandling from the touristas. We came back and I was sick. For a month. Then Christmas was on top of GeekBoy and I, pistol-whipping us like Ray Liotta in Goodfellas. Then New Years came, which was a little more laid back, but in between them somehow I filled up the hard drive on my laptop. And then the new OS that GeekBoy got me for Christmas wouldn't work with it (because it was, in computer years - 5 - ancient), so ugh, I was having trouble with downloading my photos and he was teaching me to put them on our server instead and then it was confusing and so I gave up.

The End.

No, not really.

When last I left you I was all amped up for spider monkeys! and turtles! and umbrella drinks!

True to my word, I have them all documented:

One! One Magical Spider Monkey! His name is Chato. He's a fan of yogurt; and here we see him up in his tree, guzzling down a yogurt that our guide for the day - Jay, brought to him.

GeekBoy and I can't recommend Jay's services enough. We booked our tour through Edventure Tours before we left for Mexico, and it really was an all-around awesome day.

First we toured the ruins at Tulum (with a different guide), then we met up with Jay, who squired us around in his Hummer - it was the first time I'd ever been in one - for the rest of the day, to the Cenotes (where we met Chato), a private secluded beach (where we had the best chicken tacos I've ever tasted), the bay (turtles!) and then a lagoon (giant parrotfish). He was a wonderful guide and so much fun. If you have plans to visit the Cancun/Riviera Maya area, you must book a day tour with them, and request Jay. The cost wasn't much more for a private tour ($40) - but it was so worth it.

So, getting back to the agenda:

Turtles! Look at HIM!
GeekBoy had his (old-ass) underwater camera with him, so he was taking pictures at all the spots we snorkeled at. Unfortunately, since the camera is old-ass, the photos didn't come out as well as we would have liked. But here, at least, you get to see one of the turtles we hung out with for a bit. They were very cool, just swimming around and seemingly oblivious to the 50 or so people floating above them checking them out.

Well, I didn't get any pictures of the umbrella drinks, and to be truthful, there weren't any frigging umbrellas in them anyway. But they were delicious.

So, as a consolation - I give you a picture of us, at Tulum:
Yeah. Just.......yeah.

Overall, we had a great time. The resort was fabulous, the food was yummy and I only had to get up at 5AM every day to secure a hut-thing and 2 chairs for us on the beach.

Oh, and maybe one small, little, TINY drawback was that there possibly, might have been, some moronic promotion offered by the resort during our vacation where kids stayed for free.

And you know what that means.

Flying the coop (and other fowl things)

2009-11-18T11:05:00.017-05:00

GeekBoy and I are getting the hell out of Dodge for Turkey Day. Well, actually, for all of Turkey week. The hell with dealing with holiday travelers - we just tacked a couple of days on and hopefully we'll miss the whole chaotic mess (you know how much I enjoy mingling with people, especially at the airport). We're headed to Mexico to lay around the beach; to relax and read and drink cocktails with little umbrellas in them. I'm wondering if the resort will offer anything in the way of traditional Thanksgiving fare on Thursday. Turkey tacos, possibly?

No worries about the 'rents going hungry on the big day. CrabbyC and Tex are heading to the casino for T-Day dinner, they love them some comped buffet and slots.

Last night at Bingo! (our only win was a door prize giving us $5 off our next visit, last time we won $120 - woot!) I asked GeekBoy if he thought they might have Bingo! at our resort. He said he didn't think so, that they probably don't know what Bingo! is. I sort of agreed, figuring that he was probably right; but then said wouldn't it be HILARIOUS if they had their own game called Gringo! instead?

Dammit - I AM funny.

Currently, I am in the misdst of trying to pre-overpack for this trip. I have a fundamental inability to pack light. We leave Saturday morning. I have (basically) 7 days/nights to pack for. With clothing options to choose from, jewelry, hair stuff, and 7 books; my bag should be around 83 pounds. Although, I did just get a new hair dryer - the T3 Featherweight, so maybe there is hope for me. Those ounces really add up. And GeekBoy wasn't too receptive to my suggestion that I could utilize the unused space in his bag. His point about packing too much leaves no room to buy anything while you're there is valid, but I then pointed out that jewelry really doesn't weigh that much and BONUS!, you can wear it out of the store.

It's not going to be all lazing around while we're there. We do have plans for a day trip to tour the ruins of Tulum, as well as to snorkel in the cenotes at Dos Ojos (spider monkeys!) and to swim and snorkel with sea turtles in the bay. Critters! I can't wait. Well, I could wait on getting into a bathing suit in public, but whatever. Monkeys and turtles! Drinks with umbrellas! Not being at work!

Kitties will miss us though. No worries, they will be very well taken care of. We have teams of people lined up to care for them in our absence. OK, we have 2 people. But rest assured, they will not experience an interruption or decrease in the level of service they have become accustomed to.

I've got a new camera (thanks for the b-day gift GeekBoy!) so my trip pictures should be kick-ass. Unless all the umbrella drinks impair my ability to push the button and hold reasonably still.

We'll see! I know you can't wait.

Until then, amigos.

Playing Ketchup

2009-10-27T11:03:00.018-04:00

I know you are all DYING to know what's been happening lately in Hosta country. Right?

Let's see.

Since the last time I posted:

- 1 birthday (mine). I am rapidly reaching the end of the 'x-39' age bracket, and really, it's no big deal. I will poll myself again next October and we'll see how I feel about it then. It does appear that I am regressing though, as I asked for (and received) a new bike from CrabbyC and Tex. Thanks Parents! Now I am going to be even faster in next year's cancer ride. I hope.

- 2 excellent dinners out in honor of the above birthday. Nectar, for sushi, on the day itself - was phenomenal. Then a steak (well actually surf & turf - nothing is too good for moi) dinner at Pietro's Prime that weekend. It, too, was excellent. And they had 150 year old Grand Marnier; on whose fumes, one can get drunk. Which I did. And then I drank two of them. Because I wasn't drunk enough, apparently. Then I barged in on the date next to us and promised them some concert tix that we won't be able to use. Which I did send to them, because I am a gentleman like that.

- 2 weeks of bingo! Oh my God, I love me some bingo. I believe I am a 70 year old woman trapped in a 39 year old body. We've found a local Tuesday night game at the firehouse in Phoenixville, and I am so enjoying it. Even GeekBoy is getting into the game, although he has yet to win. I won $20 last week and it more than paid for my night. I'll be there tonight with my dauber and my chips and I can't wait! Wish me luck. Word to your g-ma.

- 1 harvest party at my aunt's house. We carved pumpkins and ate a lot. I should have taken a picture of our pumpkins because they were bad-ASS. Since the weather has been so warm here, within a week, mine had caved in and gotten all gross. So now it's in the trash. :( Geekboy went and bought us more pumpkins though, so we'll carve a couple more later this week so we have some for Saturday night.

- 1 musical event. Ian Anderson performing acoustic Jethro Tull at the Keswick. Tull is one of my all time favorites and the Keswick is a fabulous venue; intimate setting, has seats (I can't stand for long periods of time anymore), and there is also a bar (bonus!). We had great seats and it was a fantastic show.

- 55 treat bags for Halloween. I go completely overboard on candy for the kidlets. Strangely enough, although I am not a kid-person, I absolutely love children on Halloween. One night only, and I go all out for it. This year, I think I bought close to 30 bags of candy and got 55 treat bags and a plastic pumpkin filled with leftover loose candy out of them. I put like 10 pieces of candy in each bag and when they are gone, I move to the loose stuff. When that's gone, I go in my house and cry. I hate running out of candy before the trick-or-treaters stop. When I lived in a townhouse community (where I would easily get 200 kids) I still made up bags (yep 200 bags), and when I ran out, I would lock up and go to my mom's house, because I couldn't bear to sit inside and watch kids still walking around. CrabbyC and I have a tradition where we call each other throughout the night and report how many kids we've each had. I'm hoping the weather is good this year. I've got almost 40 luminarias (is that right?) leading down our driveway (it's a long driveway) to the door - I don't want to have to sit at the end of the driveway to give out candy if it's yucky out.

- 1 National League Pennant. OH HELL YES! Go Phils! I can't wait for this series. Here's to hoping that we can pull it off. I got me a new shirt and everything and I am looking forward to watching my boyfriends (him and him mmmmmyummy - oh hi, sorry) play some mean ball. There is nothing like Philadelphia in the midst of a playoff or championship of any sort. I couldn't believe how tame the other team's fans were during some of the games. Really? Christ, they had to grease the light poles downtown before the last game to try and keep people off of them when we won, I heard they removed mailboxes and trash cans too. Those other cities could learn and thing or three from the folks here.

- 1 bee in my hair. I came home after work and went to feed the kitties and all of a sudden there was a buzzing in my ear. My hair was in a ponytail so I started shaking and slapping my head (great mental picture, just wait, it gets better). I still heard the buzzing so then I ripped the hair deal out and bent over and shook out my hair, all the while shrieking like I was being axed to death. Still buzzing, I ripped off my shirt and ran around the house with my head bent over, jumping and yelling and generally acting like a freak. Then the bee fell on the dining room floor. He had absolutely no idea what had just happened to him. And the kitties were no where to be found. I scooped up the bee and took him outside (he was fine) and came back in to feed the felines. They wouldn't come out for anything, I scared the living shit out of them. It took 10 minutes after putting their dishes down for me to coax them out of their hiding places. After I got them squared away, I went out to get the mail and wouldn't you know it, the bee dive-bombed my head. Bastard. I about turned myself inside out in the middle of the driveway. My neighbors must love me. They get to see me at the best moments of my life. I used to wonder if they thought I was psycho, beating the trees with a broom to scare away the squirrels. Maybe they are used to me now.

- 7,542,863 leaves on the ground. Holy shit and there are still as many left on the trees. I vacuumed (yes, vacuumed. with a yard vac) the driveway last night and today it doesn't look like I did a frigging thing. And now it's raining. Here's to hoping that they dry out by Saturday so I can vacuum again. Wet leaves are a bitch to clean up and I don't want any special snowflakes slipping and falling in our driveway on the big day and their parents suing us for everything we've got (which ain't much, but I might be willing to hand over one or more of the kitties though).

- unknown number of hosta leaves clipped. I've been cutting back everything and it's just so sad to see the leaves get all yellow and brown and droopy. Every year I worry 'What if they don't come back next year?!', but so far, they have returned. Keeping my fingers crossed that they come back again in the spring. I did find a dead vole (sorry mr. vole) last week in the driveway, and now I'm concerned that I have voles. Voles and hostas do not mix at all. Always a challenge, in my garden.

Have a good week you guys. Happy Weenie Day!

Watch out for bees.

In which I bite the hand that feeds me

2009-10-05T12:12:00.005-04:00

I am probably going to bring some kind of tragic bad food-karma on myself with this, but I have to get it out.

Where I work, we are lucky enough to have breakfast, lunch and dinner provided for us, at no charge. (pause, for you to mentally slap the shit out of me) However, this does not come without the requisite drawback. Our on-site chef, Nasty McMeanPants, is (based on my sample study) the person who would be voted 'Most Likely to Come in Here with a Machine Gun and Blow Us All Away'. Seriously. He has been overheard telling an employee, who dared to take 2 hamburgers, that he hoped the guy choked to death on them. Another employee had a dirty rag thrown at him when he didn't hear what Nasty was saying to him. Needless to say, we don't complain about the food. At least not within his earshot.

Today's gourmet delights included quesadillas, of the beef and chicken variety. I had a chicken one. Maybe it's just me, and maybe I am too used to the 'American' Mexican food; but these did not resemble the quesadillas that I am familiar with.

For one, there was no cheese in them as far as I could tell. Second, they had some kind of black bean corn concoction in them that appeared to have been mixed in when they cooked the shredded chicken. Corn and beans in quesadillas? Am I missing something?

It was like shredded chicken black bean corn stew between flour tortillas. With NO CHEESE. If there had been cheese in with the other stuff, I could have forgiven the rest. But there wasn't, so I can't.

I know, I know - how DARE I bitch about free food, don't I know there are starving people in (insert impoverished country here) that would kill to have one meal a day handed to them, and here I go turning my nose up at one of the three I am provided at no cost to me. That's not it, I am very grateful for this perk and dread going to work elsewhere where we are not as well taken care of.

It was just strange to me and I am curious if anyone else would have had the same reaction? Or is this the way they really are supposed to be and I am the one who doesn't know from real Mexican food. Kind of like the way our 'Chinese food' isn't at all like what you'd get in China. I've been to Mexico (the 'real' part, not resorts) but I was very young and I don't remember what I ordered at the restaurant, let alone what it looked/tasted like.

But I'm sure there was cheese on it - because I am a whore for cheese.

Food for thought - Chart House Phila.

2009-09-21T15:24:00.007-04:00

Last night, GeekBoy and I accompanied 6 friends for dinner at the Chart House, by Penn's Landing, in town.

I will NOT be recommending that anyone ever eat at this restaurant again. If I did at any point after 1997 (the last time I ate there), I apologize profusely - let me offer you a gift certificate to any restaurant of your choice to make up for it.

It was, by far, the worst dining experience I've had in, probably, the last 10 years.

To start off with, it took 30 minutes after we were seated for our server to come to our table, and then, he only filled the water glasses. (let me preface all of this by saying that at no point while we were there was the restaurant even close to half full)

About 15 minutes later, he came back to find out if anyone needed drinks or wanted to order a starter. We advised him that we were ordering from the prix-fixe menu, which consisted of a set salad and dessert, with 3 choices for entrees (lobster francaise, halibut with a lobster cream sauce and a rib-eye). Several people order the lobster and our server says he'll have to find out if the kitchen has enough to fulfill the orders, as they were running low earlier. I, and 2 other folks opted to try the lobster bisque - in addition to the fixed meal, and everyone ordered their entrees. 15 minutes later, we got bread and told that the kitchen can, indeed, fulfill the lobster orders. At this point, we've been at the table for an hour.

While ordering, my friend V. advised the server that in addition to being lactose intolerant, she also cannot eat shellfish. When she ordered her halibut, she asked for it plain, no sauce, due to her dietary limitations - the lobster cream sauce would send her system into an uproar.

10 minutes later, our server comes out to inform us that the kitchen dropped one of the lobster dishes and now someone will have to order something else from the 2 other entrees, because they do not have any extra. My thinking is that that person should have had the option to substitute an entree off of the regular menu, due to the restaurant's mistake, but that was not offered. So J. ordered the halibut.

Meanwhile we get our soups, and then our salads arrive. The bisque was good, the salad - meh. Chopped salad is fine with me, but when it is nothing but iceberg lettuce and garlic, drenched in olive oil - well, it loses a little something. But, whatever, I deal with it.

A half-hour later, our entrees come out. Our giant salad plates are still sitting in front of us. Really? You're not even going to clear the salad plates before bringing out the entrees? I can snark, because I was a waitress; but also, I am extremely easy to please in restaurants. It does not take much to make me happy. Bring me bread and drinks within 10 minutes of my sitting down and you can disappear for another 30 minutes before I will start to get annoyed. Keep the table clean and make sure my food is hot and timely - I am the happiest person you've ever seen and will tip upwards of 20-25%.

V.'s halibut comes out drenched in the lobster cream sauce. She reminds the server that she ordered it plain and that she cannot eat what he's brought her. Terry (our server) apologizes and takes it away. Meanwhile the rest of us have our food and are sitting there, waiting for hers to come before we dig in. She tells us to just go ahead and eat, don't worry about it. OK.

I tuck into my halibut and first bite, pull 4 bones out of my mouth. OK, I'm done. I'll be goddamned if I'm going to choke to death in THIS place. Put my fork down and wait for the server to come back to ask for a box (GeekBoy is good with leftovers). At this point GeekBoy points out to me that the lobster cream sauce very closely resembles the lobster bisque. Huh - well, what do you know - it IS the lobster bisque. Way to cut corners, Chart House.

20 minutes later, Terry brings her the replacement fish. This time, it's drenched in a butter cream sauce, because he could not believe that she really meant that she wanted it plain, with no sauce. Are. You. Kidding. Me. He sends the manager over. This little man tells V. that there is nothing that the kitchen can make that will be out in short order and the only thing he can offer her is their 'help yourself' salad bar. WE JUST HAD SALAD YOU TWIT.

V. and I head up to the salad bar to see if there is anything she wants. Not really. At this point it all looks like shit.

While we are standing up there, the manager stops by to apologize again. We explain that V. was very clear when ordering that she could not have shellfish or dairy and twice was brought food that she could not eat. He then proceeds to offer her a SHRIMP dish or CRABCAKES. Now they've GOT to be playing with us. This can't really be happening. Is everyone in this restaurant learning impaired?

Meanwhile, GeekBoy visits the men's room and finds that there are no towels - he alerts the host to this and brings his wet hands back to the table to dry off on his napkin.

On his way back to the table, I let him know that our desserts will be boxed and we are out of there. I manage to grab Terry walking past and let him know that I need a box for my fish and I want our desserts to go as well. V. asks for her dessert to be boxed too.

20 minutes later, I get our boxed food. 30 seconds after we get the boxes we are out the door and retrieving our car from the valet.

The worst 2.5 hours of my life, foodwise, that I can remember. I mean, I didn't have this bad of a time when we were in France trying to cobble together enough words from my phrasebook to make sure I wasn't ordering organ meats.

Our reservation was for 6 PM. At 9:48 PM, I got a text from V. saying that she was home and eating cereal (with soy milk) for dinner.

At no point during our time at the table did anyone from the restaurant try to make things right, in a way that I found anywhere near acceptable. When we were leaving, the host could see that there was something wrong, and asked us - we told him that we had already spoken to the manager. At that point, what would they be able to do? There is no chance in hell that I will go back there, so gift certificates and/or gratis meals mean zero to me.

Thanks for nothing, Chart House.

Buy me something! (not you guys - GeekBoy)

2009-09-17T13:04:00.010-04:00

My birthday is coming up next month and GeekBoy has been asking for some ideas of what to get for me. So I am gleaping an idea from The Missus over at On Common Ground, and I am posting some things that I'd like to have (for him) here - it's a good way to get him to read my musings, so he knows what we're up to.

Without further ado, a selection:

Jacket from White House/Black Market

A new watch

Sandals (I realize it's a little late in the season, but we're going to Mexico over Thanksgiving and my Bonnanos make my feet hurt)

Funky jewelry. We found this artist at the Somerville Open Studios in May. Loved her glasswork. I picked up a couple of her pieces, but I fell in love with the spun sugar necklace. I would love it in color or black and white.

Perfume

A new iPod. The one I have now is a first generation mini. I think I'm ready to upgrade.

This print. Again, I found the artist at the Somerville Open Studios in May. I'd really like this for my office.

Bracelet. It's casual, but stylish. I could wear it with a lot of things.

There you go sweetie! I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Just a little of the old jibber-jabber

2009-09-15T18:22:00.012-04:00

Got some random items today, in no particular order....

A gratuitious kitteh picture! (they are Q and M's babies, not mine)

Next up is an interesting fungus that we found sprouting out of a ground-flush stump in the back yard:

It seemed quite photogenic and not entirely unlike a piece of coral. I'm not sure what we're going to do with it, I don't particularly like fungus, but it seems harmless enough. So, for the time being, I think we'll just let it be, unless someone knows of a pressing reason why we should remove it.

Which brings us to my next dilemma. Somehow, I misplaced the lid to one of the birdfeeders, when I removed it to clean out the giant chunk of slowly decaying seed in the bottom. When I refilled it, I figured that I would just leave it off until I located the lid, but remembering that it's supposed to start raining tomorrow afternoon, I realized that wasn't an option. So I came up with a work-around: Classy. Nothing says 'White Trash' better than a Hefty bag lid.

GeekBoy rooted around the greenery at the base of the feeders for a little bit, but came up empty-handed. I know it's around here somewhere. This is why I'm glad my gas cap is attached to my car with a tether. I spent a fortune replacing them on cars that they weren't.

Last, but certainly not least. We have our wedding date set. 10/10/10. Going binary seemed appropriate and it's right up GeekBoy's alley. We'll be doing the dirty deed in Vegas; and yes, Elvis will be there. I think I've got GeekBoy convinced to grow some mutton-chop sideburns and I'm considering a bouffant hair-do and elbow length gloves, or possibly a poodle skirt and saddle shoes.

Viva Las Vegas!

They're not just for yoga anymore

2009-09-10T11:22:00.010-04:00

I tend to be a fairly concrete thinker. Not terribly abstract, it's hard for me to get my head around things in the imaginary realm. Stuff like.....Klein bottles are difficult for me to just roll with. (theoretical physics? WTF) GeekBoy was a physics major in college - he's tried to explain a bunch of these things to me and even with his dumbing it WAY down and his infinite patience, I still can't get right with it in my head.

This trait flows into much of my personal life. It's difficult for me to see new and varied uses for my things. Especially clothing. I have clothes for work and clothes for not-work and clothes for going out and clothes for working out. They rarely, if ever, make appearances in each other's worlds, except for my jeans - I wear them to work every day and also for not-work and for going out. They transcend the boundaries I've established. Magic.

When traveling by air, I try to dress as comfortably as possible, while maintaining some semblance of a halfway decent appearance. I'm always checking out other women's shoes and commenting to GeekBoy - 'Do you think she can run from the burning fuselage in THOSE? I hope to hell she's not in front of me. I'll go all George Costanza on her ass, and then stab her with that high heel sandal.' I marvel at the get-ups that some of our society will take to the skies in - it's not your living room couch or a nightclub, people, please don't treat it as such.

You see, when I first started flying; at all of 8 weeks old, air travel wasn't what it is today. It was a treat, not a taxi ride. When we flew, my mom would dress me up and once we got to the airport I had to behave just like I was a guest in someone's house. While I am thrilled that flying has become so accessible to so many folks, myself included, I do wish that it was still regarded as something special, and that we'd act in accordance.

How did I get sidelined into the whole 'stop dressing like skanks/lazy slobs at the airport' tirade?

Anyway.

Normally, I wear jeans and a nice shirt, usually black (with a wrap of some sort), and sturdy shoes to fly. Easy peasy. This last trip, though, I got an idea. I love my yoga pants, and have a pair that are a touch too large for me to wear to practice (but not so big as to be ridiculous) that I've relegated to the not-work section of my wardrobe; I bum around the house in them. They are so comfortable and most importantly, black. Easy to wash and not too slovenly looking score points for them too. Could I?

Yes. I could. And I did. And I loved it. Who knew? And why didn't they ever tell me? Can I get on that mailing list?

This could be the start of me thinking outside the box.

Bring on the Mobius Strips and that Schrodinger's Cat thing. I can handle it.

NC and the Terrace Project

2009-09-08T14:30:00.014-04:00

We're back from our Labor Day weekend away. We visited Q. and M. down in NC, as well as Q's SigO (L. ), and new roomie J.

Q. and I met in '97-'98 when I up and moved across the country to SF. We worked together at the Evil Empire (it's so funny that many people refer to their workplaces, usually former workplaces, by this name) in the Financial District. She left their employ before I did, but we've stayed in touch ever since. Q. was definitely the best part about that place, at least as far as I am concerned. I moved back east at the end of '99, but have visited the left coast as much as possible since returning to PA. (I'm still determined to move back out there someday) Anyway, she and M. up and moved across the country to the east coast just about a year ago. So now we get to be in the same time zone and only a one hour flight away from each other!

A good time was had by all this weekend. There was much chatting, drinking, eating and some African drumming and dance thrown in. Next we work on getting them up to our neck of the woods for a visit.

Now, back to the hostas!

I know I've been a little light on the plants lately. Thing is, around this time of the season, when it starts to get a little cooler out and the greenies start to get kind of sad looking; I get the shits of working outside. It's just a matter of weeks until the leaves start to fall and then the really hard work starts. Picking them all up and moving them out to the street for removal, lather, rinse, repeat. For 2 months straight. Autumn is my absolute most favorite time of year, and I love being outside when it's passing through, so I guess the leaves give me an excuse to spend lots of time enjoying the season. Can you tell I'm trying hard to make a negative into a positive? Go me.
In 2007, GeekBoy and I puchased a house on what could be called a 'difficult' piece of property. It's wooded and slope-y and clay soil and wasn't very well maintained (the landscape, not the house part) by the previous owners. We've managed to clean up a fair amount of it and we are always making improvements where we can.

One such challenging section was the slope leading down to the side yard. It's covered in ivy and pachysandra and part of it looked like someone had, at some point, tossed a bunch of railroad timbers down it and just left them there to rot. The plants had grown over most of them, but the ends were sticking out in a few places. We were worried about a possible erosion problem and it just wasn't very nice to look at - not that we see it - but a lot of people walk around our neighborhood and it was kind of an eyesore for them. In addition to that fun, the lawn in the side yard (ha! I use the word 'lawn' when I really mean 'weed patch') was looking a little beat, and there was a clear line of demarcation where our yard ended and the neighbor's lush, green grass began. The previous owners had had some trees removed and the stumps ground out, so we had a pile of sawdust and some big divot-holes and uneven patches, it was always hard for GeekBoy to mow the weeds.

We decided to get some terraces built into the slope to control any erosion and to clean the view up a bit and also to have the ground in front of them graded and grass seed put down, so it looked a little less like suppose nobody cared about it.

An aside; the words in italics are a saying of my mother's, from when I was a little kid. 'If I let you go out in THAT people are going to think that 'suppose nobody cared' about you.' I have no children and no plans for them, and still, I find myself repeating the things my mom said to me when I was young.

Here's the offending spot as viewed from our driveway:From the street:It looks shitty. I know it. You can say it. I won't be hurt.

I made GeekBoy take pictures of the workers in action: It's a good thing that we were getting the yard graded and seeded as well - they made an absolute mess of it with the rocks and equipment. Here's how it looked when they finished:Better. Now the terraces just need some plants to fill them.

Oh hey! There's my little red wagon! It was a Christmas gift from GeekBoy last year. I truck all over our property with it filled with plants and soil amendments and tools. It's so much nicer than hand carrying everything and making 5 trips. Remember all those plants on my deck table? That's all of them down there. Waiting for holes to be dug. Plus more that I bought later. I was a little worried that I didn't have enough to properly fill the terrace beds. You can see GeekBoy putting in some rock steps to make it easier to access the terraces. That was something that we didn't think about, and didn't ask for when we booked the job. Here we are in the midst of my planting. It took me all day to plant the 3 terraces. I started at the top and made my way down. It was a long day. Then we mulched everything and watered it and the grass seed. And continued watering the grass seed, hoping that some of it would catch on and grow. And here it is a month and a half later:

Way better. Can't wait to see how everything comes in next year.

I hope the neighbors like it.

Leaving on a jet plane

2009-09-04T14:56:00.003-04:00

GeekBoy and I will (with luck) be boarding a plane this evening around 8:30 PM bound to North Carolina to visit friends we haven't seen in a couple of years.

Hopefully I've got everything I need for the flight and the weekend away.

See you when we get back! Have a great holiday weekend.

I'm having a coronary just looking at it

2009-09-04T08:44:00.004-04:00

Has it really come to this?

I mean, I thought that I had the market cornered on shit-eating habits with my rummaging around for leftover chocolate chips from my Christmas baking and then getting the brilliant idea that 'Hey, I bet this'd even be better if I stirred them into the jar of peanut butter'. (this only happens sometimes) Apparently, this behavior has been inherited from my mom. (Hi Mom!)

The woman can go through a 2 pound box of See's Nuts and Chews in a weekend. I have not yet worked my way up to that level of sport eating. It's amazing though, that we aren't both morbidly obese. Although I think the smoking is what keeps her at least 20 pounds lighter than me. She's got herself on a steady diet of coffee, cheese, cigarettes and candy. Almost like Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous. But Patsy hasn't eaten solid food since 1973 (except for that crisp).

I digress.

This guy takes the cake. Deep fried butter.

I don't even want to think about the nutritional content of those little fried butter pillows.

That is all.

*My mother (who does not yet know how to leave comments) let me know that I left out 'doughnuts' from her food staples. Sorry Mom.